First, let’s get this out of the way:  I doubt the Mayans were better at super long term predictions than they were at living.  I think their demise speaks volumes about their abilities.  I predict: We will see 2013!

But, the air of uncertainty caused by the media’s exploitation and the general state of the economy, the election, and social unrest (I predict: more violence than in ’68) will make 2012 a bad year.  Worse than 2011.  Do not look for improvements.

School for Startups in a bookstore!

My formal list of predictions:

1.  Real estate prices fall further as people still refuse to buy homes.

2.  Europe’s financial conditions worsens in 3-6 months.  More unrest, another country defaults (Spain), German people get tired of supporting Greece and Merkel falls soon.

3.  Romney is of course the Republican nominee and wins the election.  The House remains Republican (but they lose 7 seats), and the Senate falls to the Republicans, meaning we have a totally Republican government.

4.  They proceed to do nothing big.  The economy improves greatly after the election, but Romney still pisses the right wing off and nothing big gets done.

5.  Obama is the worst loser ever and pouts, sues, and whines.  Pelosi wins reelection but resigns anyway.

6.  Health care is knocked down by the Supreme Court.   I believe this because I am an optimist and always believe the future will be better than the past.  This law does not do that, so I think it will fall.

7.  The left’s upset continues when the XL Pipeline is approved and built.  The environmental cause will never be weaker than in 2012.  NIMBY will act in reverse.  The people that live close to oil exploration in the US will demand it for the jobs it produces and the general population will demand it since they never see it.

8.  The extent of energy that the US has will become a hot topic.  The population will awaken to the fact that the US has tons of energy.

9.  Apple stock begins its fall.  Post Jobs, the company will continue to perform well, but the investor class will move on, just like after Coke’s Goizueta died.  And people realize Twitter and Groupon are dumb.

10.  The stock market will roller coaster all year with big swings, but will remain flat overall until the election, and will soar after the election.  Have money in the market by October 1st, when the outcome becomes clear.

11.  World weather will be mild overall, and food prices will remain flat.  Oil prices fall.  Democrats take credit.

12.  Three big, CNN loving natural disasters will occur, and the media will proclaim them as proof of the end of times.

13.  Assad in Syria falls and is killed in the streets on TV.   Iran is attacked by Israel, the US public supports the action, and then Obama joins in to help his reelection chances.  It also revealed that the CIA has been active in Iran for quite some time.

14.  Entrepreneurship increases worldwide, especially necessity entrepreneurship.

15.  Packers win Super Bowl.

16. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt separate, settling for 3 kids a piece.

17. Big quake in California.  Jerry Brown announces he is gay.  Ryan Seacrest is outed as 5’1” tall.

18. Michele Obama makes a huge fool of herself.

As far as resolutions, first let me review my past resolutions and their outcomes.  In 2009, I resolved to eat more bacon.  In 2010, I resolved all new t-shirts.  In 2011, all new socks.  3 for 3!!  See, the problem is most people resolve stupid stuff, like curse less, eat less, exercise more, stupid stuff.  You should resolve things you know you can achieve.  Helps you feel better about yourself.  So for 2012, I resolve to remind the Mayans how dead they are!

ENTREPRENEUR LIFE TEACHINGS

I like 4,7, and 9 best.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is
narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t
getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead,
try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have
their shoes.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that
person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to
remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog,  some days you
are the tree.

13. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first
time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience … and
most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing
with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much
when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don’t get until
just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get
slapped on our arse … then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
pill and a laxative on the same night.